'I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream': Andrew Marr slams 'selfish narcissist' former PM in explosive poem
12 June 2023, 18:18 | Updated: 12 June 2023, 18:28
Andrew Marr slams 'selfish narcissist' former PM in explosive poem
Andrew Marr has said "I am so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream" in a dramatic poem in which he describes the former prime minister as a "selfish narcissist".
Speaking on LBC's Tonight with Andrew Marr, the presenter analysed how Mr Johnson continues to maintain his ability to dominate the headlines - despite Nicola Sturgeon being arrested and the death of ex-Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi.
It comes after Mr Johnson officially resigned as an MP on Monday afternoon, with the former PM accusing his successor Rishi Sunak of talking 'rubbish' in a row over peerages.
In his explosive and eclectic poem, Andrew started...
I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream
It's hot. I'm like a boiling kettle - ejecting steam
I'm just so bored of Boris Johnson and his life
I know more about him than I do about my wife
The glory years of japes and pranks at Eton
The never giving up or knowing when he's beaten
The web of Oxford chums - Dave and George and Gove -
The trysts with trusting girls in flats, hotels and groves
The lies he told to them, then the lying to the Times
Long before the fatal porkies over party lockdown crimes
The shrugging off of misbehaviour with a laugh
The "cripes, I'll make it up" reporting for the Telegraph
And words like cripes and chums and japes and pranks
And yikes and Bozza - enough, no more, no thanks
All that gobbling up of airtime and paper by the ream
As we've all been jailed inside one man's mad dream
Oh..I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream
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Andrew continued...
I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could spew
Even the successes; for yes, there were of those a few
Genial, liberal Boris in the years at London's City Hall
Election winner against Ken and Corbyn, never short of gall
Very fast to take the credit, eg Borisbikes, eg Crossrail -
He always wanted monuments, they wanted that to fail -
He sliced through state bureaucracy that was Byzantine
At least I s'pose they've called it the Elizabeth, not the Johnson line.
Then his return to Parliament, prepared to oil and suck
Up to Tory leaders. I'm so bored of Johnson I could chuck
He always wanted to be lovable like Paddington or Gromit
A cuddly national symbol. I'm so bored that I could vomit
He picks a thing up, caresses it, then wrecks it
By "thing" I'm thinking obviously of Britain, and of Brexit
Of whoppers, fibs and fraudulence and guile
And for his enemies, threats and menaces and bile
At birth the angels gave him the gift of tongues
A glittering tree on which all life's prizes hung
They gave him great intelligence and sex appeal
Strength of a grizzly bear, eyes of a baby seal
But then, they said, we've given too lavish a gift-list
To baby Boris so you'll be, as well, a selfish narcissist
And everything will turn to dust. Bad, then badder
Will be your choices; the high call of politics a ladder
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Andrew finished his poem...
No more than that - to clamber up. So nothing mattered
Not voters conned, nor a once-great party shattered
He wanted greatness. But yes, it's vanished like a dream
Sometimes I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream
Former Tory Party leader hopes his colleagues 'put this Johnson psychodrama behind them'
Mr Sunak, in outspoken remarks made earlier on Monday, said he was not prepared to overrule the House of Lords Appointments Commission (Holac), or make promises to allies of Mr Johnson about them becoming peers.
He said he had been asked by Mr Johnson “to do something that I wasn’t prepared to do.”
Read More: Laurence Fox to run for MP in Boris Johnson's former constituency
He said he refused because he “didn’t think it was right.”
But Mr Johnson hit back today, telling LBC: “Rishi Sunak is talking rubbish. To honour these peerages it was not necessary to overrule Holac - but simply to ask them to renew their vetting, which was a mere formality.”
