Attention-seeking influencer Ashton Hall’s morning routine is peak narcissism
26 March 2025, 15:03
My social media feed is, yet again, flooded with people obsessing over a rich man’s ridiculous morning routine.
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This week’s attention-hungry fool? Ashton Hall.
He’s a fitness influencer built like a brickhouse - a man who sleeps with black tape over his mouth and plunges his face into artisanal ice water as if it’s a religious ritual.
Hall’s meticulously staged routine involves 4:30am wake-ups, pre-dawn philosophy readings, and an anonymous woman handing him pre-ironed clothes like he’s a monarch in a protein-powered kingdom.
He dunks his head in freezing water every five minutes and at one point, he wipes his skin with a banana peel. For what purpose? Nobody knows.
The highlight, though, is his head-first dive into a swimming pool - right next to a sign that clearly says ‘no diving’.
The time stamps on his video suggest his Tom Daley impression took around four minutes. Timekeeping, it seems, isn’t part of the ‘grindset.’
Let’s be honest - this isn’t about productivity. It’s about the narcissistic influencer class performing their delusions for clicks.
The real question isn’t how he does it. It’s why anyone cares.
This isn’t a morning routine - it’s a pantomime. Hall is simply the star, playing the role of ‘man who is better than you’ in a video designed to make normal people feel inadequate.
Ordinary folk don’t have the luxury of leisurely ‘self-improvement’ before the sun rises. We’re commuting, juggling kids, and, crucially, sleeping like sane human beings.
The only reason this routine works is because Ashton Hall doesn’t have a real job.
Hall’s 90-second spectacle has racked up over 700 million views. No doubt he’s thrilled - everyone is talking about him.
What he doesn’t realise is that we’re all laughing at him. Nobody genuinely believes that a 4am ice bath is the secret to success.
This ‘grindset’ myth lingers because it sells a fantasy: that you’re just one ridiculous habit away from greatness.
It’s just bollocks.
It’s easy to preach self-discipline when you don’t have financial worries, a second job, or young children to keep alive.
Let’s call this what it is: Ashton Hall’s morning routine is an ego trip masquerading as wisdom.
Waking up early doesn’t make you a genius. Ice baths don’t make you a leader.
Overcomplicating your morning doesn’t make you better than anyone else.
If Ashton Hall wants to freeze himself at dawn while reading self-help books, that’s his business. The rest of us will be getting a proper night’s sleep.
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