I have lived with chronic illness for almost 20 years - people think you get used to being ill, you don't

15 October 2024, 18:05 | Updated: 16 October 2024, 11:16

You accept illness is part of your life, but you never accept the restrictions it places on your life.

You feel guilty for the times you are too tired to play with the kids, the times you are so down you cancel seeing people because you don't want to bring them down, the friends you lose because they don't understand why you've changed, the job you had to give up and the skills you can no longer offer society.

In November 2019 my chronic illness made me not want to live anymore, I couldn't face a life of constant pain and feeling like a disappointment with nothing to offer the world. Fortunately, I'm still here but I've battled hard to hold on.

In July 2020 I couldn't walk to my car, I couldn't go upstairs without such extreme pain and breathlessness that I truly believed it might be my last breath. I tried again to end my life and that’s when I realised, I had to change my life and beat the demon I had been scared of - loss of mobility.

I got a referral and had disabled aids fitted in my home; I admitted defeat and accepted that a walking stick was going to be the only way I could get around and started walking round the block with the dog. I gave up alcohol as it was affecting my mental health, and I fought to save myself. I finally opened up to my family about just how difficult life really was and I stopped isolating myself and being honest about my pain.

Do I still have debilitating pain? Yes. Do I still experience dismissal and have times where I feel unsupported? Yes. Am I angry about that? Yes. Think of the worst injury you’ve ever had, or recovering from surgery, think about how that pain felt for even a short period. Now, imagine that’s life every day, that before you open your eyes in the morning, you hurt, that by the time you crawl into bed you’ll hurt a lot more, and ask yourself, would you expect to be listened to and taken seriously? Would you feel able to go to work, socialise with friends and carry on as normal? Where would you turn for support?

That’s why work, such as the Gender Pain Gap Index Report by Nurofen is important. It’s shedding light on the hidden pain experiences and giving voices to women who are experiencing the impact of their pain on their mental health and daily life. This research is creating change to close the gap for good.’

Sharon is diagnosed with arthritis and fibromyalgia and founded the charity More Than Fibro, which provides advocacy services and arranges weekly walking sessions.

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