Why parents are losing their sons to online misogyny

6 April 2025, 20:45 | Updated: 6 April 2025, 21:31

Andrew Tate is part of an online community, which is sometimes referred to as the ‘manosphere.’

If your son has started talking about “alphas” and “betas,” ranting about feminism, or quoting certain internet influencers, you’re not alone.

More and more parents are facing the same unsettling reality that their sons are being pulled into a world of online misogyny.  

The internet is full of influencers telling boys that women are the enemy.

In these spaces, often called the “manosphere”, boys are fed the idea that men, not women, are the real victims of modern society.

The so-called “red pill” (a reference to The Matrix) promises to reveal the truth: that women are inferior, that men must dominate, and that their worth is measured by their ability to control women. 

It’s a worldview that preys on insecurity.

Boys are told that if they’re not “alpha,” they’re “beta”: weak, worthless, failures.

And when those same boys face rejection, frustration, or loneliness, some respond with anger, even violence.

Netflix’s Adolescence has shone a light on this issue, but it’s been growing for years. 

So how do we reach boys before it’s too late? 

The instinct might be to shut down the conversation, but that rarely works. A hardline approach can push boys even further into these beliefs, making them more resistant to change. 

Instead, parents need to ask the right questions and actually listen to the answers"

• “You believe this about women - does that include your mum? Your sister? Your female friends?”
• “This influencer says men must be dominant and ruthless to succeed. But is that really healthy? Or even true?”

Encouraging boys to think critically is key.

So is showing them better role models. Men who lead not through control, but through kindness, responsibility, and strength of character.

Teachers, coaches, family members - who in their lives actually represents what it means to be strong?  Mental health is another factor we can’t ignore.

Many boys get drawn into red pill spaces because they’re struggling, feeling lost, anxious, isolated.

These communities offer them a sense of identity and power, even if that power is built on resentment.

Supporting boys’ mental wellbeing, through open conversations, professional help, and strong friendships, is one of the most effective ways to steer them away from these toxic ideologies. 

The manosphere is a multi-million-pound industry that profits off insecurity.

Parents need to stay one step ahead. 

If a boy is showing signs of serious radicalisation, intervention may be necessary.

The Prevent programme exists for a reason, and in cases of real risk, professional help should be sought.

And of course, if there’s any immediate danger, to themselves or others, don’t hesitate to call the emergency services. 

This problem isn’t going away. The red pill ideology is seeping from online spaces into real-life friendships, schools, and homes.

Parents are right to be concerned, but with the right approach, boys can be guided back toward a healthier, more positive outlook.

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Dr Tim Ellis-Dale is an expert in masculinity at Teesside University

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