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Vanessa Feltz 3pm - 6pm
2 June 2023, 08:18 | Updated: 2 June 2023, 10:48
Phillip Schofield has spoken in full about the 'Queuegate' scandal for the first time as he gave a series of interviews telling his side of the story of his affair with a young male colleague.
Phil and Holly received a huge backlash over claims they ‘queue jumped’ to see the Queen lying in state last September.
Holly apologised after the pair received a barrage of online abuse - and Phil has now revealed the impact of the scandal on him.
Phillip Schofield told the Sun: “I don’t ever throw anyone under the bus, but I have a very good instinct for these things and I knew it was a bad thing to do.
“We were texting each other backwards and forwards afterwards. I said to Holly ‘I knew I should have gone with my gut,’ and she said ‘I know.’
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“But we were shell-shocked, the both of us, completely shell-shocked by the reaction.
“What are the two things you don’t screw up? The Queen and a queue.”
“So we are forever now (associated)… it doesn’t matter now because I’m not going to go out any more … but forever now, you go to the butchers and someone says, ‘Oh do you want to (skip ahead)...?’ ‘No, no, I’ll stand here.’ I’m serious.
“There was no jumping of the queue. We went and spoke to everyone in the queue. We went out and met everyone in the queue then walked all the way around the building, and went into the press centre with your accreditation.
"That got messed up because the production team didn’t want to give either of our emails out, so they used work emails which obviously didn’t match up with who we are."
He went on to say he ‘lost everything’ and that he no longer has a career after revealing that he lied about his affair with a young male colleague.
He told the BBC it was a “grave error” and that he does not see any future for his career.
Appearing exhausted and distressed, he spoke quietly as he told them he was ‘desperately sorry’.
"I have to talk about television in the past tense, which breaks my heart," he said. "I have lost everything.
"What am I going to do with my days?" he continued. "I see nothing ahead of me but blackness, and sadness, and regret, and remorse, and guilt. I did something very wrong, and then I lied about it consistently."
Phillip, 61, said he ex lover was an “innocent party”
“I was older, I should have known better. [The affair] was consensual, but it was my fault."
Adding that he had been suffering with suicidal thoughts, Schofield added: "Last week, if my daughters hadn't been there, I wouldn't be here."
Schofield said he "understands" why Holly Willoughby ignored his apology text after revealing that he had lied about having an affair with a young male employee at This Morning.
Just under a week after Schofield revealed the affair, the former presenter told The Sun: "I've lost my best friend. I let her down. I let that entire show down. I let the viewers down."Holly did not know. And she was one of the first texts that I sent, to say, ''I am so, so sorry that I lied to you''.
"She didn't reply, and I understand why she didn't reply, as well. So yeah. If anyone is in any way linking Holly to this — that is absolutely, wholly untrue."
Read More: Dr Ranj Singh hits back at people ‘trying to cause damage’ as photo of him with Phillip Schofield’s ex-lover resurfaces
It comes after the news that an external lawyer has been hired to "establish the facts" surrounding who knew what details about Schofield's affair.
Willoughby, who is currently on an extended half-term holiday from This Morning, is expected to return to screens next week.
Those feeling distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK