Edinburgh Fringe funniest jokes revealed as comedian Mark Simmons' gag sails to victory

19 August 2024, 05:45

The award for the funniest joke told at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival has been revealed as comedy's greats battled it out.

This year saw a witty pun rule supreme, with Mark Simmons joke about a sailing trip winning over judges at the annual comedy festival.

The U&Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe is selected annually at the end of the festival, with a judges' shortlist then voted on with the help of Fringe-goers.

According to the judges, the nautical one-liner came top among 40% of those surveyed, with the Canterbury-born comedian having previously won the Comics' Comic Award in 2022.

Simmons is something of a Fringe veteran, having begun performing his first solo show at the festival in 2014 after a friend convinced him to give an open mic night a go.

It comes just weeks after comedian Reginald D Hunter cancelled a show after police launched a criminal investigation into a possible hate crime after an Israeli couple were 'hounded' out of his Fringe show.

The comedian was crowned the winner with his gag: "I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.”

Previous winners of the Joke of the Fringe Award include comedians Lorna Rose-Treen, Olaf Falafel, Tim Vine, Rob Auton, Zoe Lyons and Nick Helm.

Those attending the Fringe this year can discover Simmons show More Jokes at the Liquid Rooms Annexe until Saturday 24 August,

Simmons, who previously appeared on hit TV panel show Mock the Week, says the award leaves him primed and ready to begin a 200-date debut UK tour.

Read more: Labour 'to allow unions to walk out without half of members voting' after bumper pay deal for train drivers

Read more: Minister tells LBC 'we can't ignore online hatred of women' as government moves to treat misogyny as extremism

Simmons said: "I’m really chuffed to win U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe.

Top 15 Edinburgh Fringe Festival jokes

1. I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. - Mark Simmons

2. I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm progressing. It's just one step forward... two steps back. - Alec Snook

3. Ate horse at a restaurant once - wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful. - Alex Kitson

4. I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. - Arthur Smith

5. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.- Mark Simmons

6. My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes - Olaf Falafel

7. British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? - Chelsea Birkby

8. I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I've cracked it. - Masai Graham

9. My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had - Zoë Coombs Marr

10. The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati. - Olaf Falafel

11. I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are ‘there there’. - Sarah Keyworth

12. I've got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I'd never bought her that vineyard - Roger Swift

13. Gay people are very bad at maths. We don't naturally multiply. - Lou Wall

14. Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher - Sophie Duker

15. Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1% of people - Olga Koch